Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I Think I need to See a Shrink!! Mark my Words, I'm gonna go Crazy....

Ok, this post will be a little bit of a rant. As you may remember, Hubby's ex has not brought the children for visitation 3 times. (that in itself is a whole other post). She hasn't returned any of his calls. It's like they all fell of the face of the earth. Except we have been communicating with the kids on the computer. But other than that, nothing. No commucation at all. Because all of our calls aren't returned.

Suddenly, Sunday afternoon, we get a call. I about fell over backwards, when I noticed it was HER number on the caller ID. She asks, can I drop the kids off for 5 days or so? What's up with that? I just want to scream.....We have a life too. We have plans we have to rearrange, jobs we need to deal with. Luckily I work mostly from home. So I was able to adjust work accordingly.


I have really tried to be so nice to this woman. I have sent her cards, I gave her a birthday gift. We gave the children money to buy her a mother's day present. I got her a Christmas gift. I am soooo trying.... But I think I am at the end of my rope. How much do I have to try? At what point do I just throw my hands up and well, give up? I hate giving up, but I hate being a doormat even worse.


Niko and his Daddy.

Also, I think I mentioned in a few previous post that Niko has a form of autism. (asperger syndrome is what we have recently found out.) It is really heart breaking, because since he walked in our door yesterday afternoon, he hasn't left his daddy's side. Not once. He even slept with us last night. He says he has been missing his daddy. He loves us, why hasn't he seen us? We were completely speechless. We didn't know what to say. We don't want to talk about mom and her issues with him.

Niko and his Daddy. They watched the all-star game together.




If you have any advice, I am all ears.





9 comments:

Tina said...

Renee:

This must be so hard....hopefully you guys will enjoy your time together as a family.

You can tell he was so happy to be with his Daddy in the picture...

When you get time come by my blog...I tagged you!

Rebecca Jo said...

You dont ever give up... because there are little ones who are involved... you just have to learn to deal... & you pray... pray for strength, for the right words, for the grace to extend out & for change of heart in her...

Sorry things are still so crazy...especially when you can see these pictures - the love he has for his dad... how can anyone mess with that?

Kathie @ my net finds said...

I haven't been through anything like this, so I'm not going to even try to give advice. I am so sorry you're going through this. I will say this, I think you are a better person (especially better than me!) to give this irresponsible woman gifts and trying to be nice to her for the sake of your family. Sometimes though when something isn't working it helps to take a step back, look at everything honestly and say what can I do differently here to make things work. I'm not saying this is your fault, just saying, you can't control others, only yourself. If it were me, I would start taking a stand and I say that for the kids' sake. Actions speak louder than words. I can't imagine what she is teaching them if this is how she acts!!! Just my two cents worth :-)

Sparkette said...

The best thing I can say, cause I thought you were going to go to court...

Record everything! You get a calendar and write everything that happens down. Phone calls, visits, what happened during the visit...use a notepad too. I think that it is the best thing to do. I am sorry that you have to go through this. It's tough I know. But be strong. Lean on God, he will give you that strength.

Denise said...

Pray without ceasing sweetie.

Beth in NC said...

That is so sad. I'm sorry. I pray God will give you and your husband wisdom.

Love,
Beth

wearsinappropriateshoes said...

My mom and stepdad went through a similar situation with my stepdad's ex-wife regarding his son. My stepdad, God bless him, can be a bit dim-witted when he wants to and his first mistake was paying her child support in cash. She took him to court for back payment, said she never received any. The only payments they could find were the ones by check - after he met my mom and she shook some sense into him, haha.

Mom recorded every failed drop off, every time she called last minute to change things or to say she'd be late... When they went to court, the ex came out worse for the wear.

Good luck, dear, and keep your head up!

Alicia said...

Oh, Renee..my heart breaks for your hubby and the kids!

I'll be praying!

Jane In The Jungle said...

First, stop trying for YOU to be so nice to her. She doesn't need presents or cards from you as long as you make sure the kids do it, she'll never appreciate it.
And when he says why haven't you wanted to see me, just always reassure him that y'all want to see him as much as you can. At this point reassurance is about all you can do. I can't imagine how frustrating this is for you. Just keep praying!